Installation: Nursery

I was reading a story to Ethan last night about airplanes and thought it would be fun to make an airplane display above his bed. So I designed a pattern, cut it out and assembled 11 little card stock airplanes and hung them from the ceiling with fishing line and push pins. The most impressive part for me is that I didn't use any glue or tape. What what?! Now I'm just crossing my fingers that they don't fall down :)

Ethan is stoked, as you can see.

Part 1

Last week something inside of me burst with a renewed desire to create some artwork. I feverishly began sketching thumbnails for a triptych about my feelings of God, the temple and family. I am not very good with words but I feel like these paintings are a form of poetry for me. They express emotions and thoughts of mine that I have trouble communicating otherwise. Each piece includes many symbols, some of which are clearly understood at first glance, others of which have to be thought about and others still that I only understand. I decided since the pieces were so symbolic it would be appropriate for the style to be abstract as well.

I headed off to the store to get some supplies and found these great canvases on sale... but that would mean I'd have to use oil... not the medium I  had in mind. I seized the moment bought the canvas and sketched out my composition on it. I was a bit nervous considering the size of the canvas (1 ft by 3 ft) and the fact that I hadn't made a decision on how I was going to paint it. I mixed up piles of white and gradients of blue-gray(with a dash of yellow to match the blue in my family room.) on the pallet turned on some oldies (like 40's oldies) music and dove in, butterflies a flutterin and adrenalin pumpin. I started making a blocky horizontal/ vertical pattern with my paintbrushes starting with the dark sky and was happy with how the white of the stars naturally formed in random places. It just kind of started coming together :) It's good to have several elements of the painting nailed down but allowing for creativity during the creation so that you aren't fighting your painting to be exactly what you planned in your head.

Today I finished up the final details and should have stopped sooner. I think that's the hardest thing- knowing when to stop. Plus I should have mixed up more paint when I started. Remixing half way through is never a good thing. Remember to mix with the knife, not the brush! Anyway, I like it and I am excited to finish the rest of the triptych.

In this first piece I depicted the veil of heaven with the stars in the blue field, common in art history. God is the glowing moon, lighting the way in a dark world. The ring of the moon indicates a divine, unearthly glow but also a phenomenon Brandon and I saw one night, a huge ring around the moon. It made the universe look even bigger than usual. It made me feel tiny in comparison to the vast night sky.  The rays represent God's love shining down on mankind... most especially me. It may seem strange, but when the rays of the moon shine in on me through my window I feel like God is reaching out, assuring me that he sees me and knows what's going on in my life and that he loves me. The blue represents the peace and calmness that God's pure love gives. The white of the moon and stars also represent His purity and sacredness.

I had so much fun making this. I set up a studio in the unfinished room in the basement and its PERFECT, almost. I just need to get a screen door for the outside entrance in there so that I can still ventilate the space without inviting Charlotte and friends to come and play. It's funny though, regardless of the little creepers, the love of what I am doing far outweighs my fears. I feel like an artist again!! Oh I have missed this part of me. Our basement smells like the painting studio at USU and it brings a smile to my face. Mmmm. Nothing better than a deep breath of toxic oil painting fumes. Ha.

2 in a Row!

This pic was a happy accident. I don't know how or when I even took it.

Here's today's self portrait. If you are concerned that I am depressed and angry due to my expressions in these self portraits don't be. I am drawing from a mirror and apparently this is my focused face.

Self Critique: The lips are a major improvement from the last drawing. In fact all the whole drawing is molded much better. I put more time into this one and that allowed me to notice more shapes and gradients in both the shadow and light areas ( not that they're perfect). The eyes seem a bit large and dark. I noticed that the eyes are looking in different directions so I tried to fix it but it was impossible. Each eye was looking that way in the mirror. My left eye is the strong one and my right follows suit. Hence the eye on the left is looking straight at you and the one on the right is looking down. Crazy.  Anyway I do see a resemblance. Hopefully one of these times I can get myself to look slightly pleasant in the drawing. I tried but it's hard to hold that same expression the whole time. No wonder old photographs contain angry looking people. It's easy to look angry. Ha.

I drew this afternoon!!!! I am pretty much always available to model for myself :) So I busted out a mirror and drew myself while the baby napped. It feels good to have charcoal under my fingernails again.

I love the hat and the hair in this. I like that they look more unfinished than the face and neck. The trouble with this drawing was that I found myself drawing what I thought it should look like rather than what I actually saw. It's very apparent in the eye on the right. I am going to continue these self portraits till I get it right. 

p.s. feel free to ignore the magnet :)

Seasons

I have been wanting to do this for quite some time. I was watching Bambi with Ethan a few months ago and the credits at the very beginning had these fun watercolors of nature. So I decided to make similar paintings representing the four seasons.
When people ask me what season is my favorite I have to always say the beginning of each one. I love living in a place where we get a good taste of all of them. Spring brings energy to my soul that summer is just around the bend. Summer is so wonderful. I love the romance in the autumn air and the first snows of winter are magical.
I got inspiration for the layout on BHG.com. (I'm a big fan of theirs.)
The four colors are my color pallette for my family room. Mostly the green is in plants and our family pic (Which is substantial... or will be when we finally print it!) Blue is our furniture, and the pillows will be light warm yellows and oranges.
Cheeriness is what we aim for.

I'm Dying

Today I was looking for some Friday night entertainment and came across an article about a girl I went to school with. She was going to be debuting her artwork at an upcoming gallery walk. I wanted to cry as I looked at her collection. I miss that part of me so bad. Don't get me wrong there are days that I feel so great just keeping the house in tip top shape, making fabulous meals for my hubster, taking care of my babe and getting dolled up. Yes there are some days that all those things are enough. Lately that has not been the case. The monotony has been killing me. I've felt passionless about life.

I never knew passion until art. It filled me up. I had discovered a big, BIG part of myself. Its one of those things that makes me flo. When I am drawing, painting, creating I am only thinking about one thing, it. Its my escape and it makes me proud of myself.  I've let other things take its place (like blogging ironically) and it's gotten me feeling lazy and comparing myself a lot. When I make art I feel like I've been productive and have something to show for my day. I am only comparing myself to myself and it feels great.

Today I had an epiphany. I only have, what, like 60 years left?  Who knows how many of those will actually be quality years. I am dying, everyday is a day closer and everyday gone is gone. This is part of me and if I lose it I will hate myself for it. If I were going to die tomorrow I would want to create one last thing today. Seriously. I would want to make something meaningful. I drew some poppys last night that actually I quite like but they are meaningless. Anyone with a little skill could create them. I want emotion and meaning completely unique to me in my work. I don't want to make art for other people, I want to make it because it's what I do. People can take it or leave it. I want to hang it up and feel naked in front of a crowd (thanks Anna Nalick) because it exposes my heart.  I don't want to die a passionless, pretty little housewife. I want to leave my mark. I'd best start marking my territory while my little bundle is in dreamland.